"We have cut the whales off from themselves. Creatures that communicated for tens of millions of years have now effectively been silenced." ~ Carl Sagan
Some years effectively clamor into our awareness. 2020 was a year like that. It was not a quiet year.
When a year like 2020 comes our way, some of us go inwards. If we choose to continue to nurture our awareness, our voices may appear as if they have silenced themselves. And perhaps they have. But not in every way.
I made a conscious decision to be here tonight, even as my dinner is in the oven. I made a conscious decision to turn off the television that was on while I was cooking. I turned on Classical Music, instead. I just missed The Blue Danube, it seems, though they played a more modern rendition afterwards.
I was reminded even before I turned the radio on that I have often enjoyed the New Year's concert from Vienna. It is shared live, and so if it was on, it was on in the morning. I forgot about it completely. Now it's night. And yet I wondered. Was it live this year? Was it presented at all during the age of Covid? Would I have wanted to hear it, diminished? Did they play another year perhaps? Did they perform it on Zoom? (I seriously doubt it.) I could look it up, I suppose. I don't really need to.
And so it goes with 2020.
And now it's 2021.
The last time I wrote here, I wrote a rather poignant story. It was an important story, actually, one that is about trade-offs. As the year progressed, it became less accepted to talk about such things. And our awareness of them became more nuanced. There will be Catch 22's, so-to-speak, that will be examined for years, I sense, if we get that far.
Voices matter. Some of us went inwards. It doesn't mean we were "depressed", though some might have felt that way. We just needed to speak for a time with ourselves, and perhaps with the future. We didn't necessarily stop writing. And through that quiet expression of awareness (what some might call "journaling"), we discerned in the moment and found solace. Even when it felt like we didn't, we did.
That's what 2020 was like for me, after April.
I look at just about every description on my "profiles", the ones I have consciously chosen to share. In almost every case, I have put "writer" first. I did not stop being a writer in 2020. Far from it, actually.
But now it's 2021, and I am here.
A piece I do not recognize is playing on Classical radio. It has aspects of discordance. But still, it carries melody. My dinner is almost ready. It took a while to cook. I will either be back to continue, or I will finish here for now . . .
(I wonder, before I go to check on it, how many others went inwards last year? And what will the future reveal their voices to say? Dinner time.)
About 40 minutes later.....Also Sprach Zarahustra (I was thinking Thus, but I looked up the exact title) was playing as I wiped down the kitchen counters. I thought to myself "That's rather perfect." It is still playing now. I need to listen to more Classical music and less "news". (There isn't really much "news" anymore - it's essentially opinion.) I wasn't listening to "news" earlier. A movie was somewhat randomly on (the beginning of The Devil Wore Prada - it's a rather light and interesting movie, in its way, but I turned it off, knowing it).
Were they truthfully Catch-22's, or trade-offs? I thought about that at dinner, thinking I was "softening" the idea. I sense that History will consider them trade-offs, which is what I would have said in April.
(And in case you are wondering, the previous post I am referring to is this one: Every Day.)
That was written on April 7 - the last time I wrote here in 2020. A lot has surely happened in 2020 after that! And yet plenty of what I wrote about there happened as well. Some day, we will have the courage to examine all of this more closely, perhaps some of us even today (The music comes to a dramatic crescendo, and then it descends.)
2020 was a year when Spirituality has been vital for many of us, and I hope to speak a lot more about this in 2021. It is also the year when Spirituality was far too often dismissed. Perhaps I will write again tomorrow. Perhaps I will finally read Thus Spoke Zarathrustra on my Kindle one day soon - it's been there for quite a while, unread.
What people seem to think is dead is very much alive - and needs to be.
Spirituality is vitally important.
(And now the piece has finished, in precisely perfect timing. "A chance to shine", the commentator says - I didn't quite catch who was shining, how or when, as I was only partially listening. Yes, I'd love to believe that is indeed true. And true of 2021.)
Winter photo by Susan Larison Danz.
No comments:
Post a Comment