Saturday, September 1, 2012

Beyond the Blue Moon

Yesterday I had the bright idea of jump-starting this blog during the Blue Moon.  Somehow it seemed appropriate.

The "day after" no-longer-blue moon (I procrastinated.)
Yet here it is, tomorrow...

I awoke thinking "Maybe I'll treat the blog like morning papers, write every morning..."

Yet here it is, night.  (And no, I must admit I don't write morning papers just for myself either...)

So how did I manage to finally sit down and write?

Was it because my significant other happened to change the channel to Julie & Julia and leave it running in front of my computer when he left the room?

Well, quite honestly, that only made me berate myself more for my perceived lack of progress since I first saw it in 2009. While still fresh from my heady, prolific Oprah forum days, I was certain not one, but TWO, books of mine would be published within a year.

Yet here it is, Fall 2012, no book out yet.  (Though like Julie in the film, I AM a writer, no book required...)

Let me tell you a little about my "morning papers" today, the ones written upon my heart.

A walk on another day (was supposed to be reflecting on my blog today).
My day started as it often does, with my ever-hopeful dog insisting on the park.  I listened, appreciating hints of Fall on this beautiful Oregon day, reflecting on what I might write, all but certain I would blog when I returned.

I didn't.  Instead I found myself sitting in my back yard, gazing at the neglected landscape.

A little tree is dying in the corner of my yard.  Indeed it may be dead.  The problem with this corner is I have allowed it to become virtually inaccessible (at least to me), bushes blocking much of the little path, and spiders, some big, some small, hanging from the tangled branches.
Spiders like these are everywhere in my yard.

I don't like spiders.  Especially BIG ones...

My perfect imperfect tree.
But then I noticed something else...something about one of my favorite trees...

This tree had perfect symmetry once, like the most perfect Christmas tree imaginable.  During the holidays, I have often imagined decorating it (but no ladder is that tall).  I used to literally set up a chair in front of it and stare at it, marveling at its symmetrical perfection.

A few years ago, in a spontaneous attempt to clear a path, too close to the branches to see the whole, I found myself trimming.  Then I stood back and gasped in dismay.

The symmetry was gone.

I pondered fixing it, cutting more branches on the other side, restoring the perfection.  But I knew that wouldn't really work.  So I let it be, and every time I looked at it, I sighed.

No longer perfect.

Today I noticed something else about my beautiful once-perfect tree (still special to me even so).

One of my unhappy trees the sprinklers missed.
It's turning brown.  (!!!!)

And that was it.  That was my impetus.  On this day when my local paper just happened to announce August will go down in the record books as one of the five driest ever in Portland,  I absolutely HAD to get into that corner my sprinkler system has been failing, where there are actually many trees.

And so I did.  I put on my best spider-resistant gloves, silently asked the spiders to peacefully co-exist, grabbed the shears and started clearing, this time lopping off branches on the OTHER side of the path (not my favorite tree).

I didn't see any spiders.

Inside my hidden Haven, path cleared...
Yet as I put the branches in my bin, there they were, emerging from its depths (but none too terribly large). 

Happy to finally complete a task I had put off for so long, I was left with a gift.

A haven.

How could I live in this house for over 5 years and not nurture and appreciate this little space?

And yet I didn't, so attached to staring at my computer screen have I been.

Maybe I should write outside...
Later I wandered all around my little yard, drinking in the beauty and the peace of what I somehow missed.  And the spiders were back, weaving away.  I even brought a little of the beauty in.  Or perhaps it was A LOT, far beyond the roses in my little vase.

And so it was with my "beyond the blue moon" day, a day past delay, procrastination past, a perfect day in the midst of imperfection, just like my favorite tree.

And so it is, blog mission accomplished.

I wonder what is next?