The Lost Keys

Not long ago, I was convinced I had lost my keys. I searched high and low throughout my belongings, even using a spare car key for a short while. Just to discover they were somehow in my purse the entire time, never lost at all. As my significant other Bryan and I had searched, shaken and emptied my purse multiple times, we joked afterwards that maybe they fell out of space and time, perhaps to that interdimensional place lost socks like to live, just to return when I was ready. Or perhaps that new semi-designer purse I was so happy to snag at TJ Maxx is of the magical "Mary Poppins-style" variety. If all the lost socks return next, I'll need more drawer space!

My lost keys represented a lesson I needed to hear. And for a time, I contemplated the many things I had "lost", including a great deal of writing from my youth, something I had tried to preserve, yet had somehow mysteriously vanished years ago.

Or the box that apparently fell off the truck during my last move, containing more writing still and all my precious piano books with the songs I actually know how to play. Anyone who once played the piano, yet fell out of practice, knows of what I speak.


Or the backpack of my son's precious things stolen from my car a few years ago, including what was arguably one of the most beloved possessions in our entire home - the stuffed animal from his childhood. In a fire, I would have said it was the possession in the house I would have rescued first, right after the people and the pets. Yet one day it was gone, along with every single item my son held dear enough to transport from house to house, lending the consistency children of divorce often require. What a lesson THAT was for both of us, and imagine the challenge I had later that day sharing the news.

So what lessons are these seemingly trivial losses of possessions teaching me? Yes, I could venture into exploring even greater losses and grief, but this particular lesson starts with attachment to things, as well as finding peace in the present moment, no matter what surface-level annoyance attempts to cause a stir.

Attachment is often about fear of change. When we cling to the things in unhealthy ways, what we really fear is the disruption of change. Sentimental and familiar items anchor us with a sense of security, and there is nothing wrong with sentimentality, but the key to peacefully co-existing with such things is to know that we can be at peace even when they are gone.

Society can be sentimental too, clinging not only to things but to ideas, even preserving particular ways of doing things which may no longer serve us well. As I have said many times, the Earth is experiencing a quantum shift. I happen to believe that many of the things we have grown accustomed to are in for radical change.

If we "lose" aspects of our way of life that no longer support our evolutionary growth, do we view it as a tragedy? Or do we celebrate the possibilities? It's our choice.

Oscar showing his age...

Despite the touted improvements in the ceremony this year to improve ratings, if THIS was the promised facelift for Oscar we heard people talking about prior to the ceremony, maybe it's time to find a new surgeon!

I found that watching Twitter was far more entertaining than watching the ceremony alone, including a running humorous commentary from many in the Twitterverse...like this choice oft-repeated comment at the end from Tina Dupuy: "The Academy Awards should not hand out Oscars for editing until they learn how to edit the Academy Awards."

I discovered this nice sampling of Oscar-related tweets, after being alerted to one of my own being included in the list.

And if you looked closely at the continuously updating tweet stream with the #oscars tag, you may have even discovered live comments from bonafide celebrities...like Jane Fonda: "It IS moving to see sandra win. And she made a great speech. I am weeping #oscars" or "I love jeff honoring his parents. I have felt that way when I won. #oscars".

But when it comes to the actual production, it's obviously time for far more than a facelift. Maybe a complete reincarnation is in order.

First, it was a mistake to eliminate the performances of "Best Original Song" and instead include breakdancing to the "Avatar" theme (I kid you not, if you missed it). Although I know "Dancing with the Stars" is hot, so maybe people think these big dance production numbers on the small screen still entertain (no, they really don't), it is far more entertaining to see the original artists perform the best songs.

As for the big dance numbers, back in the 1960's and early 1970's, people were regularly entertained by an endless array of such dance productions on their tiny television sets. But that just doesn't work anymore in 2010. Unless you are actually sitting in the theater, all those feathery costumes lose a great deal in translation.

Maybe it's time for Oscar to give social media a try - perhaps include live polls (like "who is wearing the best dress") or display the most entertaining live Oscar-related tweets on-screen during the broadcast, kind of like CNN and the other news networks, even from certified celebrities watching from home.

Now THAT would increase ratings! I laughed far more at the Twitterverse last night than most of the lame pre-canned jokes of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. A few struck gold, but not very many. And where was the spontaneity? The best hosts of all are the ones who do it on the fly (or manage to make it SEEM like they're doing it on the fly). Faking on the fly falls flat very fast.

And what was going on with the production itself? Did anyone else notice all the little "glitches"? The missed cues? The awkward pauses? The odd way the John Hughes presentation ended (with apparent disarray and chatter being caught by the mics)? And the more-than-usual confusion at times getting award-winners on stage?

I know they cut the time limit on the acceptance speeches this year, and apparently Tom Hanks felt pressed for time (an understatement), but it's the speeches that actually carry the unpredictability which have added spice to Oscars past. Unpredictability isn't sanctioned much these days. And the joke segment at the beginning was FAR too long, excruciatingly awkward, and not in a good way.

I personally think it's time for something completely new, some truly adventurous, out of the box innovation. Think "Avatar". A paradigm shift. Yes, the Oscars are a tradition, no doubt about it, but it's 2010. We don't need to keep pretending it's 1950 for nostalgia's sake. Recast the nostalgia in an ENTERTAINING way, and add some high-tech, up-to-date flair to the broadcast. The more I think about it, the Twitter feed is not such a bad idea!

And focus on the MOVIES themselves, not poorly written jokes and obtuse production numbers. Maybe even find a way to make the whole thing SHORTER, but BETTER, without sacrificing the parts that matter most.

Don't get me wrong. As a long-time movie buff, I LOVE the Oscars. But Oscar is ready to be reborn.

Shifting from Fear-Based Authority to Love-Based Respect

Lately I have been contemplating how our historical societal beliefs in a strict, judgmental authoritarian God have influenced just about every aspect of our lives, from marriage, to parenting, to schools, to the workplace, to government itself.

When you view the Creator of the Universe as a gentle Loving partner and guide, as something truly inseparable from us all, that is a paradigm shift with profound effects on how we view relationships and leadership in general.

In marriage, some may be surprised to know that there are still many people who believe the husband should be in a leadership role, based on their beliefs, although how they interpret their beliefs does indeed influence how much of a partnership exists in marriage, as opposed to the husband taking on a strict authoritarian role. I have explored this topic online in the past, with interesting responses on all sides. In fact, it was one of the most popular posts I ever created on the Oprah forum, with almost 23,000 views and over 200 replies (Let's Discuss What the Bible Says About Women ). I learned a lot from that thread regarding how marriage is gradually evolving towards more of a respectful partnership, even very subtly in conservative circles (though many women still disempower themselves daily). There are some who are attempting to re-assert the authority of men in marriage, but I believe such attempts will ultimately fail, as more and more women claim their truly equal status in marriage and in society.

As a parent, when a child behaves inappropriately, it is easier to lay down the law in an strict, authoritarian way, than to act as a gentle guide. Yes, younger children require more direct intervention, if they are about to run into the street, for example - however, HOW you go about this is very important. James Dobson and "Focus on the Family" still advocate authoritarian methods of parenting, even physical punishment. However, many parents are now evolving towards a different model altogether, as indicated by the popularity of "Love and Logic" parenting classes.

A strict authoritarian approach does not truly teach a child. All it does is instill fear of punishment, just like strict, authoritarian depictions of God. Fear may be a motivator, but it's not a truly productive one, and ultimately this is why children choose to rebel. And directing anger or physical correction towards a child only tells a child that reacting in anger, or even worse, with physical violence, is perfectly ok. When you view parenting as a partnership, particularly as children become old enough to understand, when you use your creativity to lead via influence, not authority, when you gently guide a child towards appropriate behavior in innovative ways, THAT's when lifelong lessons are truly learned. Threats and punishment may have a short-term effect, but the lasting effect is more harmful than good.

School districts which deploy "zero tolerance" approaches are essentially modeling the behavior of a strict, authoritarian leadership structure, indeed subtly modeled on the concept of a "zero tolerance" God, though we may not realize this is so. Such approaches are based on fear, not on reason. Children are punished severely, even when there is no intent to commit an offense. I believe all such approaches in school administration will ultimately fail and be replaced. In the old days, even corporal punishment in public schools was allowed. Now it is almost universally frowned upon. Society has evolved, and society will continue to evolve towards a model which treats children with the loving respect they deserve, while still creatively guiding children to appropriate behavior. This is NOT the easy path - it is much easier to lay down the law in a strict authoritarian way, but we are capable of creatively devising the solutions to make it happen. And the result will be children who actually listen and become the balanced, loving citizens of Planet Earth we seek to create.

And now we come to the workplace. Authoritarian structures run rampant in just about every workplace environment today. We all know the difference between a good boss and a bad boss, and generally the bad bosses are the ones who do not know how to treat their employees with the respect they deserve, who choose not to listen to those they lead, who have forgotten that a true team is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Where did we ever get the idea that it is ok to yell at employees in the workplace? Yet such highly disrespectful, disempowering scenarios occur daily, with many workplace environments resembling abusive parenting households more than true teams. We must have the courage in business to lead with gentle influence, to take the road less traveled, to innovatively find ways to motivate those we lead, and to treat even the people on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder with the respect they deserve. People with good bosses already know why this works. Indeed the term "boss" itself has authoritarian implications. A true leader is not a "boss" at all.

And then we come to the ultimate authority structure of all: government. Our criminal justice system is failing us. That's because it is based on punitive, often unreasonable, vengeance-based, fear-based foundations, not on the intent to truly understand and seek to rehabilitate those who fall into its clutches. We see our impulse for vengeance in the punishment of accidental crimes, or of the mentally ill, or in punishing offenses based on the results, not the intent. Even when clear intent exists, we would rather slam the door shut and throw away the key, rather than seek to heal what caused the crime to begin with. Once again, our impulse in society to follow the strict, punitive path is based on age-old beliefs in an authoritarian God who does much the same.

Embracing a new form of enforcing the laws of society will require a huge paradigm shift, and it is not the easy path. Yet we will begin to treat people with the respect they deserve. And when it comes to leadership in government, we are finally evolving as a civilization beyond the kingship/emperorship/dictatorship model. Many of us are beginning to realize that government cannot rule with an iron fist, even if that's the apparently easy path (not really, since it ultimately leads to strife and dissolution). But still, we have a long way to go before we figure out how to define the government of a society based on true respect and influence, rather than authority.

There is an ultimate solution. It is evolution. The old fear-based approaches are based on survival-level existence, where fear is inevitable, where God is something to be feared, not simply Loved, where authority appears required just to survive. I truly believe our quantum leap to a new level of Consciousness holds the lasting key. And that is once again where peace not only becomes possible on Earth, but in every aspect of society.

The Quest for Authenticity

Lately I have found myself faced with walking the walk of authenticity, not just talking the talk. One of the legacies of my conservative evangelical past is a subconscious instinct (and sometimes very conscious too) to avoid the judgement of others at all costs. This can also include assuming that someone may be judging me for my "New Age" spiritual path when in actuality they do not. And yes, sometimes they do judge me indeed, I have no doubt of it. Not long ago, I encountered a situation where the judgement was very real and directly expressed.

And when this happens, whether real or falsely assumed, it makes me feel intensely uncomfortable. So today I'm exploring this aspect of myself openly and honestly.

I write from the heart. I have deeply felt convictions about what I choose to write about, including engaging in dialogues online in which I often ask some very challenging questions. I have been doing this a very long time, without hesitation. When I write, I have no problems being intensely honest and forthright.

This is who I am when I write online, and now it's time to find a way to claim my authentic self in person too. I often find myself speechless when asked to explain not only what I do for a living, but what I choose to write about. If the person asking might be one who would find the heartfelt honesty and authenticity of my path offensive, I find myself waffling. I find myself hesitating. I find myself couching my responses in language softening what I actually do.

It's really not surprising, as this is what most evangelicals are taught to do from childhood. We are taught to fear judgement at all costs. We are taught to hide our thoughts that might be contrary to what we are being taught. So we learn to play this game of demure acquiescence, especially the women, no matter what we happen to actually be thinking, no matter what our doubts or questions actually happen to be, lest we experience the perceived shame of being judged. And even when we have learned to release most of our shame-based misconceptions, they can resurface both unexpectedly and predictably.

I find it ironic that I was caught in precisely this situation today - one day after I scheduled my first ever spiritual speaking appearance on the topic "Be the Master You Are", all about releasing the baggage of fear from our pasts. Yet one reason I chose this topic is as a reminder to myself, as much as to those who will be listening. Someone close to me mentioned yesterday that there is no better way to learn a topic than to teach it. And it is my intent to be as honest as possible when I do so. I'll make it clear that this is a process for everyone, including myself. Indeed the talk itself is a step on my own path of mastering my fear.

The walk of mastery does not require perfection. The walk of mastery is a process. Being the authentic master you are is actually all about loving yourself in the present moment, even when it seems the master is in hiding, even when it seems we want to hide who we are altogether. We are actually only hiding from ourselves. We are all masters on this Earth. We just need to remember who we are.

Dialogue with a Christian struggling to feel Love

Since I have spent most of my online writing time in the Oprah forum, I am going to begin surfacing some of the profound dialogues occurring there. My writing on the Oprah site provides some real insight into my own spiritual journey, as well as exploring heartfelt questions many are afraid to ask.

As a discussion forum, the Oprah forum is much different than a blog. Every thread is an ongoing dialogue. I have been posting to the Oprah boards since late 2006 as user bridgebldr.

Today I am engaged in an active discussion with a sincere Christian who states he is having difficulty experiencing the Love of God. This is a topic near and dear to my heart, based on my own journey, as I believe that when we place conditions on the Love of All That Is, we limit Love's true UNCONDITIONAL power.

Unconditional Love does not include conditions. It's that simple.

Unconditional Love does not state "I love you all, but do what I say and believe precisely the way I tell you OR suffer the worst fate imaginable".

Unconditional Love (or any type of Love actually) does not "save" just a few, while supposedly deceived souls and dear loved ones are left to suffer in pain and despair for eternity. Some say such suffering is a choice. But there would be NO free choices in the presence of the supernatural deception so many believe is very real. There would be no true heaven either for anyone in that scenario, not even for those who think they are "saved", not if they choose to love those left behind. Or forget and then become a mere shell of what they once were.

Unconditional Love can never abandon ANYONE, under any circumstances. Unconditional Love never gives up, for it is infinitely patient. Unconditional Love couldn't even give up on "Satan" (if one chooses to believe in Satan - I no longer do).

All a Christian (and anyone else) needs to do is turn to 1 Corinthians 13 to understand what unconditional Love actually is (and what it is not). Unconditional Love "keeps no record of wrongs" and "NEVER fails". The answers are actually in parts of the Bible, if that is a spiritual source we choose to read, just not in the entirety of the Bible on every page, as many misconstrue.

The Bible actually contradicts itself regarding the nature of God, and for those who choose to read the Bible, it is a very real choice whether to emphasize the judgemental, brutally violent "God" or the unconditionally Loving "God". The two competing descriptions cannot be successfully reconciled in any logical, consistent way, despite the attempts of many to do so. As for me, I choose to emphasize the Love, as any other way is all about Fear and contradiction, not Love and truth.

Here is an excerpt from the Oprah dialogue, something I just posted this morning on the following thread regarding difficulties a Christian contributor to the forum (whose name I have omitted) is having with experiencing the Love that surrounds us all. The dialogue is continuing to evolve, such that we are finding a great deal of common ground. I'm also addressing how I feel about other forms of spirituality which suggest we are to give up all of ourselves to find the Love of All That Is. I use the term "God" often in these dialogues to be on the same page with those I'm conversing, but the age-old connotations of the term "God" can be limiting - substitute whatever term works for you. I actually prefer "All That Is".

Since I only have permission to post my own writing in this blog, I am only including my latest response.

"I need to express something here, based on my own experience, which I know may be contrary to what you believe. I actually feel quite the opposite about the Love of God. I believe the Love of God is intensely direct and personal, valuing YOU. Many are being taught that they are nothing, but in truth, they are EVERYTHING.

It's not that God revolves around you. God is of course much bigger than just one human aspect. However, that beautiful created soul YOU are IS the center of God's Universe when it comes to interacting with YOU. You exist on this planet to be YOU, and God loves every part of you, every single part. God also wants you to know all that you are capable of becoming, without completely losing that beautiful created soul you are in the process. Yes, you are inseparable from God, inseparable from 'the Universe and its glory', while still being uniquely YOU.

This is why Christianity doesn't work for me anymore, and perhaps why it never worked for me. Even some other spiritual paths are much the same. They expect you to give up or diminish the special creation you are in order to find God. Sometimes this is expressed as abandoning the self to find God. Sometimes it involves judgment and repentance, which I believe are disempowering and not truly of God. I believe finding God is all about finding the self, but not in a self-serving way. There is a very subtle distinction. It is also about being the very best, most loving self you can be, in partnership with the entirety of God, as YOU, not as some nameless shell.

Do you understand that God loves YOU - YOU, with every single imperfection you may perceive about yourself. God loves and understands every single part of YOU and does NOT judge you for those imperfections. God understands your struggles and loves you every bit of the way. As long as you feel God is judging you, instead of gently guiding you to more loving behavior (BIG difference), you cannot completely understand just how very much you are Loved. You are Loved as YOU. You exist as YOU. You may be a part of the Universe too, but fundamentally you are here right now in this place to be YOU, the person you are on Planet Earth right NOW, every ounce of your being loved UNCONDITIONALLY, with no judgement, just as 1 Corinthians 13 tells you.

Yes, we can get lost in the mystical wonders of Oneness with the Universe. I have had highly profound visionary experiences too, so I know of what you speak. But we must never lose sight of who we are right NOW. Otherwise, there would be no point in any one of us being a part of God's Universe at all.

Why do you think you were created? And do you know how much God LOVES you right NOW as YOU? That Love extends to EVERYONE, no exceptions, no judgement."

Our Quantum Leap: the REAL "Game Change"

As I observe the ever-widening political divide in the U.S., I realize that we can no longer abide the continual cycle of bouncing back and forth from one party in power to the other. How does it serve us to continue in our seemingly endless and irreconcilable differences? Yet the opposite extremes become ever more starkly polarized.

Even our Supreme Court is so obviously NOT impartial and driven by idealogical agendas. If our Supreme Court was truly impartially interpreting the law, then you would NEVER be able to predict how a particular vote might proceed or a particular justice might vote. There would be no predictable 5-4 split on controversial issues. The outcome would be virtually random. The party in power when a justice is nominated would be completely immaterial. There would be true impartiality. Yet the justices bring their politics, personal preferences and idealogies into the courtroom with them. This is not impartial justice. This is something else altogether. And the proof is in the votes themselves.

So how do we heal the ever-growing chasms appearing between us?

The old, highly honored traditional way would be to patiently seek common ground, and of course it is the natural and noble impulse of many of us to do so. Yet those of us who have lived on both sides of the fence, observing the fierce commitment of the factions, also know that in many cases, there simply IS no meaningful common ground to be found. Except a change of mind.

Is hammering a particular agenda through, just because you have the political power, an answer? That's actually the worst and most divisive approach of all, with endless reverberations, starting the vindictive vicious cycle of back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, all over again.

So let's take a step back and examine this situation in an entirely new Light. While we're at it, we might as well expand our focus to ALL that divides us, not only in the U.S., but the world. The polarization on Planet Earth grows ever more severe, the more extreme extremists become, with each contingent feeding the fear-based fires of the others. The only difference now from the centuries prior is that we do have the ability to destroy ourselves in the process.

As spiritually awakened citizens of Planet Earth, I fully believe the time is coming when we must realize that our true agenda must be HUMANITY's agenda. Even nation-states, a system of organizing ourselves that I truly believe will one day be as transient as feudal fiefdoms once were, cannot allow their often fear-based self-serving, isolationist and protectionist impulses undermine the agenda of HUMANITY. This too is a difficult leap to make, virtually impossible, completely contrary to everything we have known and held in esteem. Until we go QUANTUM.

I have said many times that I fully believe that the Consciousness of Mankind is expanding. What exactly does this mean? It means that although we will still treasure our individuality on the planet in a non-divisive way, including sentimentally treasuring our national and cultural origins, a time is coming of TRUE common ground, and that common ground is one of shared Consciousness. The chasms of fear and confusion will be distant memories. Extreme polarization will no longer exist, for it can't exist in the presence of telepathically shared understanding. Humanity's dark secrets will no longer be hidden, but fully revealed, understood and forgiven. We will simply know that we are many, yet One, not only on the planet but One with All That Is. That's HUMANITY's agenda and our only viable future.

Yes, true revolutionary change IS possible. QUANTUM change. This change begins within, not without, a quiet revolution in the stillness of the mind. And for every person who experiences the shift, it will be that much easier for the next, and the next, and the next, accelerating at quantum speed, until we find we have arrived, taking the leap TOGETHER. It is only then that "politics as usual" (and "vengeance as usual" and "secrets as usual" and "religion as usual" and "war as usual" and "fear as usual") will be over. What will remain is simply Love. And that's when Peace on Earth begins...

"Avatar" and the Voice of Expanded Consciousness

I have now seen James Cameron's "Avatar" twice, and I will no doubt see it at least one more time during its theatrical release. Why is it that so many feel this movie calling them back to theaters again and again? Is it the special effects? Perhaps, for some. But I think for most, it is something far more profound. It reminds me of how we lined up for "Star Wars" again and again and again in the 1970's. That wasn't all about special effects either.

Some have claimed that the storyline of "Avatar" is simplistic, but the greatest messages of humanity are often delivered in simple packages. I realize in retrospect what a remarkable impact "Star Wars" had on me in my sheltered youth, despite its simple story. The themes behind the story, exposing many of us to the concept of expanded Consciousness in a subtle way, were what gave "Star Wars" its true power. And the "Avatar" phenomenon is the "Star Wars" of the present day, both in special effects and more importantly, Consciousness effects.

We are at a point in our history where "the little people" will no longer tolerate being disempowered by those who claim authority over us in unethical, insatiable ways. That's because we finally realize we are not "little people" at all. Corporate greed and power plays are being exposed for what they are. The ignorance of selfish, war-hungry arrogance, such as what led to the utter desolation of many indigenous cultures on this planet, is rapidly falling out of favor. Religions claiming fear-based, violent, authoritarian "gods", veiled with a veneer of privilege and conditional love, are losing their resonance. Fear itself is losing its grip on the planet, though it may not seem that way at times.

The Voice of expanded Consciousness is speaking to us through "Avatar". The Voice of true transformation. We are fully capable of connecting to the planet, the Universe and each other, even more readily than the fictional Na'vi. We can already "see" into the hearts of others and All That Is, if we simply open our eyes. We can finally release our fear of death and even connect to the voices and the hearts of the past, once we realize Life is never-ending.

"Avatar" is leading many to ponder whether the supposed glories of our technology are truly worth the price. The sarcastic, atheistic snickering quietly explored in "Avatar" reveals just how arrogant, vacuous and destructive the strictly materialistic mindset can be, when taken to an extreme, in light of TRUE reality. Ultimately I believe technology will become one of many tools in a much grander toolset, until it is one day rendered obsolete by Consciousness itself. Technological evolution is not the answer for mankind. That path, when pursued at the expense of all others, only leads to emptiness, unbridled greed and utter destruction. The real answer for humanity is our quantum leap in Consciousness.

Dawn is breaking, after a very long night. Can you "see" the Light?

We are ALL "avatars" dreamwalking on this planet we call Earth. Our true Consciousness resides in Infinite Love.

I See You.