The Great Conversation

Up far too early this morning, as the dog nudged me awake.  How is it that animals can read our hearts sometimes better than we can ourselves?  I sense this is a powerful energetic time for me, and I decided in the spirit of my new approach to this blog, I would just start writing.  I realized I could be writing in a private journal instead.  There have been times in my life when I have done so, pages and pages worth, but I sense being openly authentic here is more what I'm called to do in this moment, to the degree I feel I can give myself permission.

My life is at a bit of a crossroads right now (interesting, what I first typed was "write now" - I corrected the typo but mention it).  Typos like that can speak volumes.  I'll digress, if it's possible to digress in a free streaming blog, and mention one that happened to me some time ago.  It was during a time when I was a very regular caller on what was then a local radio show (which has since gone national).  Back then it was really easy to get a line in, and I would call quite often.

Participating in this program quite often was so much like my Oprah forum days, when I would find myself anonymously getting into debates with conservative Christians over things like demons and Satan and hell, doing my best to point out the disconnect with the true Love of God.  I can't remember precisely the topic the night of the synchronicity I'm about to share, but I do know it must have been a particularly challenging one, as I found myself on the line asking the Universe/God/Spirit/my Higher Self, "Please help me to share what needs to be shared from the highest possible level".

When my turn came on the line, though I can no longer even remember just what was said, it was filled with unconditional Love, and I recall marveling after that I was able to say it at all in the way that I did at that particular time. I could feel "the highest possible level" coming through big time.

The call ended, and I went into a chat room associated with the show.  I guess maybe I hadn't called the show in a while, and someone I had corresponded with in this chat from time to time who intended to type "It's good to hear your voice." typed something else: "It's god to here your voice."  "God to here", wow, I saw it immediately, the meaningful typo, as that was precisely my request and not only was it answered, which I knew in my heart immediately on the line, I received a beautiful extra confirmation afterwards.

The irony is that we are ALWAYS "God to here".  That's why we are here.  God to here, God in us, God expressing God in an infinity of special ways, through us.  Not hijacking us.  Or disempowering us.  Or controlling us like a puppet.  No, we are creating ourselves as we go, just as We always intended.

I had a professor once who told me it was time for me to join "the Great Conversation".  He was urging me to have the courage to speak up in class, as I was very quiet, yet he could see my voice through my essays.

There is a "Greater Conversation" still, not quite what he was getting at, though that one has merit too.  I come to believe that Higher Aspect of All that We Are brought us into being, essentially WE at the highest level brought ourselves into being, as challenging as that may be to express, so that we could engage in the Greater Conversation, indeed Creation itself, as the beautiful, special, unique beings we are.

[Wow, I did it, authenticity - I think I'm going to publish this without editing at all.  Maybe there will be a typo...]

In Search of the Heart

This blog is playing tricks on me now.  I exchanged a couple messages with Dr. Allan Hunter today about writing from the heart, said I was going to start experimenting with this blog and just start writing, sat down in front of it, thought "I really should be doing..." (name any number of tasks, including the taxes I have delayed until the last minute), and I kid you not, somehow the New Post functionality just invoked, and here I am writing a run-on sentence and refusing to care...(if you read the last post about my internal judge, you'll understand that's a step in the right direction).

I think I have written enough about not writing for the time being...

Today I was reflecting upon what may or may not be a novel concept, yet it was on my mind.  I have been thinking about Fear, partly to prepare for a talk I'm giving in a little over a week (yet another task I keep thinking I should be working on instead of this blog) and partly because the fear-based messages in the world have become so very pervasive, they are almost impossible to ignore.  Yet what if we do indeed ignore them?  Would that be naive?  What if we simply trust?  What if we simply choose to focus on a different world, and then that's the world we see?

A "Talent which is Death to Hide"

"And that one talent which is death to hide

Lodged with me useless" ~ John Milton

I first read John Milton's words in high school.  And ever since, these words have haunted me, echoing time and time again throughout my life, my own eyes blind to their true meaning.

Over and over and over again in this blog and in my life, I have been berating myself for hiding a talent.  So many promises, so many excuses, while I felt like a coward for running away, like a traitor to everything I always wanted to be.

Long ago, when I first read Milton's poem, I was afraid to write, even then.  There was no mystery to it really, as it's a rather common trap.  I was afraid to try, afraid to discover I just wasn't good enough, when various people were telling me I really was quite good.  It was far easier to partially succeed in a weakness than risk failing in a strength.  I pursued two degrees and half a career in the process. 

I can hardly write three words in this blog without stopping and judging "my talent" in some way, and yet ironically by hiding the very thing itself, it has just buried itself deeper, partly rusting from disuse, and all the more difficult to retrieve every time I seek it out.  And then when I do dig it up, much of the time I drop it, afraid to expose or handle it at all.

"They also serve who only stand and wait." ~ John Milton

When I was young, I didn't understand the purpose of any kind of waiting - ambitious young people rarely do.  Yet wait I did, or so it seems, half a lifetime.  I found every possible reason to pursue just about everything except that thing I had buried, all the while scolding myself for standing and waiting.  It seems we die a little each day when we bury the desires of our heart, yet perhaps perfect timing serves its purpose.

God is not the judge.  You are not the judge.  A phantom publisher is not the judge.  The most relentless judge is me.

I have decided to expose the rust or the shine, whatever they may be.  It's going to require a kind of discipline to make it so, to stand and not wait.  It's the only way I can begin to bury the judge and not the talent, one word at a time. 

Transcending the Storm

For many hours yesterday I found myself utterly engaged in a modern-day version of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington unfolding in the U.S. Senate.

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

I was fully prepared this morning to publish a bold and detailed blog in response, outlining meticulously in multi-partisan fashion all the many ways our rights are being infringed, not only in America, but throughout the world.

A person didn't need to be an ultra-right conservative, a Tea Partier, a Libertarian, or any kind of Rand Paul supporter at all to join the conversation last night (which trended worldwide).

My scattered Twitter contributions started with retweeting Amnesty International in the afternoon, not exactly a right-wing organization (nor is my very liberal Oregon Senator Ron Wyden):

Thanks to @SenRandPaul @SenMikeLee @RonWyden for speaking out on #drones & lethal force http://owl.li/it3Pl #filibuster

And then I RT'd someone else's response to Amnesty Internationall:

@amnesty This goes to show that bipartisanship for true principles is possible! (via @cacarrillo)

A sampling of my other tweets:

If you want to find true security, look within. #innerpeace #peace

Tune out the voice of fear and tune in to #Peace.

Our rights, our #freedom & our very way of life transcend politics. That's a good reason to #StandwithRand. #Filibuster 

#Peace requires far more courage than war.

The Senate may be going to sleep for the night, but America is finally awake. Thank you @SenRandPaul. #standwithrand #freedom

Last night, rather early on, I also RT'd:   

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. ~ Louisa May Alcott (via @ShareAwakening)

So why did I choose just now not to publish what was quite a detailed, albeit artfully diplomatic, diatribe?  In the end, fully embraced by the Light of day, I chose not to allow resisting the storm to rip my sail to shreds. 

When I spoke of "transcending politics" last night, I was correct, but perhaps not quite in the way I saw it in the passion of the moment.

Resisting the storm is not what is going to steer the boat this Earth is on. I don't regret my writing exercise this morning, as it was quite cathartic, as were my tweets last night.

But it's my words of Peace I finally choose to heed today.  Truly transcending means not engaging the storm.  Truly transcending means blazing a trail to the Light that shines above it.

Yet another RT of mine last night:

Sometimes your voice finds you. #Little Mermaid (via @high_on_glitter)

I thought I had found a kind of voice, fully engaged in the storm, yet another found my heart instead.  Perhaps it will take sail.


P. S.  After I posted this blog post to Twitter, I noticed another tweet I had forgotten, my last before I went to sleep last night - somehow it wasn't in the window I was looking at before:

When you surrender to #peace, everybody wins.

I think that sums it all up quite perfectly...


Mr. Smith Goes to Washington photo considered public domain and obtained from http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:James_Stewart_in_Mr._Smith_Goes_to_Washington_trailer_2.JPG.

The December 22, 2012 Blues

They say people may be depressed today because the world didn't end yesterday.  That may be true for some, but for most, I'd wager it's not because of the way the world didn't dramatically end - it's because of the way it didn't dramatically begin.

Still here...(of course!)...

The media really doesn't get this phenomenon at all and never has, not the spiritual side anyway.

Though some mockingly speak of the people who traveled to the Mayan ruins, as well as no doubt any number of charlatans taking some of them for a ride, the media doesn't understand the mystery and the optimism surrounding this date, whether taken literally or symbolically.

I know any number of people who approached this date in any number of serious ways, none of them exactly hippies (no disrespect to hippies), and all quite reverently, many very intelligently, backed up by quite a bit of research.

I was actually offered a free trip on a Mayan spiritual adventure months ago in exchange for some social media work I would have done on their behalf.  In fact, a well-known researcher and writer was on Coast to Coast AM last night reporting from the very ship I would have been on.

I turned the offer down, knowing with unambiguous certainty that I was meant to spend yesterday at home with those I love.

But with that said, I also happen to know that mystical, sacred sites do indeed exist in the world, that they are not a joke, and some day I do aim to visit some of them, treating them with the reverence and respect they actually do deserve.  I know I'm not alone.

So what WAS it about December 21, 2012 that caught the attention of so many of us?  What is it that lingers still, even today?  And why might some of us admit, if we are really, really, really honest, that while not necessarily in the depths of depression (though some of us may be), there is indeed a letdown, more than a twinge of disappointment, on this December 22.

It's easy to see the Dawn if I look (this is from my front porch ;-).

For me, it started many years ago with a series of powerful spiritual experiences that jolted me awake, a glimpse of the Dawn that utterly rocked my sheltered little world.  There were significant visionary aspects I could barely comprehend, though they without a doubt related to a huge Shift arriving on this planet.  I'm still sorting through those experiences, and I don't talk about them a great deal because I know some of what I encountered was a personal transformational vision quest intended just for me.

My visionary experiences filled me with Hope.  My life in the years since filled me with Certainty, an assuredness that yes, indeed, a time is coming when this world is going to Shift - and in a way that cannot be denied.  And the laughter we will hear then will originate from pure Joy, not derisive humor.

That Shift is happening already if you open your eyes to see.  It's been happening for a while.

But there was a certain mysterious anticipation, a powerful surge of optimism, associated with seriously considering the possibility that if dramatic, quantum Shift, that last tremendous push, COULD happen in a single day, why not consider the notion that such a day could have been December 21?

No, I'm not utterly depressed on December 22.  But I must admit a significant part of me was hoping for much more.  And I know I'm not alone.

A fortune I opened today, another synchronicity, another glimpse of the Dawn.

I did a radio show yesterday that I'm not disowning today.  It was all about Celebrating the Dawn.  It was all about the signs of Dawn emerging all around us.

But I couldn't help but hope to finally see the Sun suddenly pop over the horizon, in whatever way was meant to be, in a way so very dramatic and awe-inspiring, even the skeptics would be jolted wide awake.  I know I wasn't alone.

It didn't quite happen that way on December 21, 2012.  But it doesn't take away the Dawn.  We are not alone.

Reflections of a Writer: Lighting the Path

A few weeks ago, I shared openly and honestly about my journey as a writer in my Mother Shipton Prophecy blog.  Since that blog is very focused in its reach and topic, upon rereading what I had to say, I knew it was appropriate to surface here as well.

The Mother Shipton Prophecy blog will soon be transitioning to become The Prophetess Legacy blog, a more general format exploring the behind-the-scenes aspects of my research into the history and insights of mystical women throughout history.  The blog will accompany my Prophetess Legacy seminars and ongoing book/web/media projects on that topic.

Feeling the utterly unnecessary urge to explain the huge stack of books in my arms, I told the librarian at the counter last summer that I was writing a book.  I hoped to finish by Winter.

Obviously accustomed to warding off the locals, she whipped out a mantra about not being able to take most new books into her little library, even from authors nearby.  I hadn't asked.  I didn't care.  I told her it really didn't matter to me. 

And then she said something rather unexpected and deep, a knowing look in her eyes:  "Have you fallen out of love with your book yet?"

Speechless, I can't remember what I said in response.

Yet the weight of her words remained.  Long after the weight of those books.  I carried the weight of those words for several weeks.  I carry their weight in this moment.

As anyone stopping by this blog knows, this project has been a long time in development, with many promises and pauses in between.

Have I fallen out of love?  Obviously...yes...

I used to only talk about Mother Shipton at events (and not about other prophetesses)...until I began to realize much of what has been written about her is false (see Facing the Forgeries).

As I said months ago, I finally had to come to terms with the truth.

Fallen out of love?  I'd say so.  I all but omitted Mother Shipton from my Expo presentations when I used to dedicate the entire hour.

And then it happened last summer.  An unannounced gift, the web domain name MotherShipton.com magically fell into my hands.  So did all the related names (.org, .net, .info, you name it).  They all came to me effortlessly, without even asking, without even looking, without even giving it a thought.  And of course they arrived by Design.

And so I have a responsibility.

I must be true to the words I choose to write...for her sake...for the memory of the real Mother Shipton...as truthful, open and balanced as I can possibly be, on the very site that bears her name.

Meanwhile, it's not the first roadblock I've encountered, as "The Prophetess Legacy" project goes far beyond Mother Shipton.

"Have you fallen out of love with your book yet?"  The words hang upon my heart.

Yes, I have fallen out of love.  I have fallen out of love with the darkness.

When you take it upon yourself to study prophecy, you had better be prepared (I wasn't).  It is brutal.  It is bloody.  It is graphic. It is death, destruction and damnation in just about every imaginable way. 

Do I want to write a book filled with blood and death?  Obviously...No.

I would call that definitely falling out of love with a book, a book so very heavy it fell into the abyss.

But what about the Love?  And the Light?  Ah, yes, they do exist in prophecy.  And in fact, perhaps that is precisely the point.

So what kind of book exactly is re-emerging in my hands?  What kind of web site and blog?  Let me just say none of it will be what I expected...

And I'm writing here, right now, in this very moment.  That's a good sign.

My last Expo presentation a few weeks ago had the most raptly attentive audience yet.  I didn't focus on the darkness at all.  I focused on the Light.

Yes, I'd say that's a sign I'm falling back into Love.

Perhaps soon I'll take you with me...

Awakening to the Consequences of Breast Cancer Over-Screening & Over-Diagnosis: Prominent Study

This blog entry contains personal editorial opinions and is not intended as medical advice.  Readers are encouraged to do their own homework and seek advice from sources they deem appropriate.

How many of you know 3 women who have been diagnosed at some point with breast cancer?  Perhaps one of these women is you.

Do you know anyone diagnosed with early stage breast cancer who suffered or even died from complications resulting from treatment? 

What if almost 1 out of the 3 women you know may have been the subject of inappropriately aggressive screening, never requiring any diagnosis or treatment at all?

More troubling yet, what if the screening itself did little to prevent the number of women overall dying from breast cancer?

It's Thanksgiving, and although I really didn't expect to be blogging about breast cancer tonight, I couldn't help but be thankful for a stunning article on breast cancer featured on the front page of my local newspaper, revealing concrete facts about a tragic situation many awakening women like me have suspected for quite some time.

As stated in the Oregonian today: "In the last 30 years, more than a million women have been diagnosed with breast cancer when they didn't have it or had a low-level, non-threatening form, according to a new study" from a respected oncologist and medical school professor.

The comprehensive, long-term study of U.S. women also concludes that early screening by mammograms has had only "marginal" impacts on women dying from breast cancer, precisely what widespread early screenings are actually supposed to prevent.

Here is a direct quote from the study conclusions in The New England Journal of Medicine itself:

"Despite substantial increases in the number of cases of early-stage breast cancer detected, screening mammography has only marginally reduced the rate at which women present with advanced cancer. Although it is not certain which women have been affected, the imbalance suggests that there is substantial overdiagnosis, accounting for nearly a third of all newly diagnosed breast cancers, and that screening is having, at best, only a small effect on the rate of death from breast cancer."

An earlier 2009 study in the British Journal of Medicine had similar conclusions about overly aggressive screening and diagnosis, its confirmation in my opinion a beautiful demonstration of the scientific method at work.  Also in 2009, what one of the panelists later said was "aimed at reducing the potential harm from overscreening", the independent U.S. Preventive Services Task Force panel appointed by the Department of Health and Human Services questioned the widespread use of mammograms before the age of 50.

Yet still, many refuse to listen, refuse to even reflect upon the possibility that women are being over-screeened, and it is absolutely astonishing how few mainstream news organizations are choosing to highlight this latest study, one that significantly impacts the choices and lives of women worldwide.  Women continue to be confused by conflicting recommendations from enthusiastic cancer charities supporting mammography, as well as doctors from the American Medical Association, whose careers depend upon treating these cancers.

As much as a growing number of women understandably celebrate being breast cancer "survivors", sadly the label itself has been rendered irrelevant in almost a third of these cases.  What almost 1 in 3 of these women actually "survived" was the treatment of breast cancer, based on an overly aggressive diagnosis they actually didn't need to receive at all.  How could their lives have been impacted if they could go back to that time before they knew, before their families knew, before their lives were turned upside down?  And what about those woman with early diagnoses who died from complications from the treatment?  The latest study says nothing about their untold numbers.

Nothing can be done now about the past, but what we can do is let future women know they actually have choices based on what more and more studies are revealing, despite the controversy.  These conclusions may be a bitter pill for many brave "survivors" to swallow, but what it really contains is hope, hope that will significantly reduce needless suffering for many women in the hands of an industry with profits fueled more by fear than facts.

As much as we would like to be handed clear, safe, unambiguous medical advice regarding the decisions we are called to make, unfortunately it's not that simple.

The studies show there are very real risks to over-screening, just as there are risks to being one of those unscreened women unfortunate enough to have a form of cancer that actually needs to be treated.  But the latest statistics tell us the screening itself does little to help, no matter what enthusiastic, well-meaning mammogram cheerleaders have told us in the past. And it's not necessarily safer to go for screening "just in case", a common misconception, particularly if you are one of those women exposed to the risks of over-treatment as a result.

And though it is a shocking thing to ponder, we must also be aware that the cancer screening and treatment industry brings in billions of dollars every year, and as much as we would like to believe that the motivations of the industry are lily white and pure, free from any profit motive whatsoever, the more wise and realistic among us will begin to realize just how unlikely that scenario actually is. Note that some cancer survivors have even recently surfaced and criticized corporate profit motivations behind wildly popular Pink Ribbon events - see the trailer for the 2012 documentary Pink Ribbons Inc. for that alternative point of view.

I took responsibility for my own choices long ago.  Due to being over-screened, over-radiated and over-stressed by diagnostic mammograms in the past (the ones you get when you are called back after a screening), I don't get mammograms anymore and haven't for several years.  I have encountered a number of other women quietly making the same choice despite the popular opinions of many of their well-meaning peers.  If I ever felt I needed something to be checked out, I would choose thermography and/or ultrasound instead.  I would choose alternative treatments too.

Few of us choose take a full body scan to go hunting around for other types of cancers, and I quite honestly have for years viewed mammography quite the same way. (And don't get me started about the choices I will some day be called to make about colonoscopy, a test that is NOT risk-free, a test I will some day consciously choose to skip.)  These are my choices as an empowered individual.  I see the logic and research behind my own choices as minimizing my overall risks, not the other way around. You are free to conclude and choose otherwise.

I personally have someone close to me who was diagnosed with breast cancer many years ago and chose not to do chemo for a rather advanced case that wasn't even seen in a mammogram at the time (albeit the technology was more limited back then).  She was aggressively warned (even bullied) by doctors who said she would die because of her courageous choice.  She survived many years and is still with us now, healthy and cancer-free, her life a testament to the choice doctors tried to take away.

I know someone else who spontaneously recovered from another form of late-stage cancer after being told by the doctors she had no choices left at all.   She too has been cancer-free for several years.

These are stories of survivors, but not the stories you usually hear.  These are stories of empowered, courageous women who granted themselves the power to Choose.  Often women are told that the "brave" thing is to do what the doctor says, often coached by other treatment survivors who have made that same choice, but no matter what a person chooses, the brave thing is to be empowered enough to make your own choice, to realize that you do indeed have a choice to do your own homework, no matter what your final decision happens to be.

I  know someone who almost died from optional chemo after being diagnosed with early stage breast cancer, thinking she was taking a cautious, conservative route for a rather minor diagnosis.  She was one of the healthiest, fittest women I knew at the time.  She made her choice, one she thought was the safest thing to do, yet within a very short time, it almost took her life.

Yes, of course there are women who have done everything they were told by the doctors and survived, women who credit the medical profession with their survival.  I do know women like that too, and some of them no doubt were indeed saved, particularly those diagnosed in later stages.  As for the others, how many of them needed to be screened, diagnosed and treated at all?  I will never know.  Nor will they.  And the latest study backs that up.

Not everyone survives alternative approaches.  But not everyone survives what the doctors and pharmaceutical companies tell you either.  Doctors are not gods, nor are they anywhere close to perfect.  Sometimes they give you good advice.  Sometimes they don't.  And often they make mistakes.  Therein resides the ambiguity and responsibility of personal choice.

It's time for the women who have had the courage to explore alternative choices to speak.  We can be the voices for the unknown number of silenced women who have suffered and died needlessly from over-screening and subsequent over-treatment complications, those unnecessarily taken from their families far too soon, women who actually had choices they may never have been led to contemplate at all.

Note: To listen to my 11/23/2012 Blog Talk Radio show on this topic, visit: Women Awakening to Empowerment of Informed Consent

All of the images in this blog post originated from Wikimedia Commons and are in the Public Domain.