Its been a long day and a long weekend, so I'll rely on the voice of my teens yet again. And yes, one of these days, I will try my hand at poetry again (not just the single line variety). I do have some other poems from adulthood I have not yet shared, but it's been several years since I have attempted to write one.
This poem I wrote primarily within the context of seeking new spiritual horizons, no longer following the evangelical belief system of my parents and just becoming aware of what was often called "The New Age Movement" at the time. I was also nearing college at the time I wrote it, and I was yearning to be free.
It has a certain maturity to it, reflecting an awareness of (or at least a hope for) an unconditional kind of love, through which someone who loves you is happy for you if you are happy, no matter what choices you ultimately make.
I'm not sure I completely realized at the time just how relevant a poem like this can be throughout one's life, in many contexts...
I look to the horizon
as brightness creeps upon the sky
But then I hear you call my name,
shrieking through the wilderness of night
I turn to gaze your way
but only darkness fills my eyes
A wistful tear rolls down my cheek
For I must spend this time alone.
Tempt me not to retread steps
already followed long ago
The choice to strike out has been made.
To go back would be foolish now
That world's no longer mine.
I know my heart has not yet found
the peace it deeply yearns
For I am neither here nor there,
balancing on the borderline of destiny.
And when I somehow find my way
to a place I can call home,
Then I will face you once again,
my life aglow with the smile
~ Susan Larison, 1982